The concept of children and boundaries has been a prominent theme in my office recently and I could not help but to begin to reflect on my relationships with my own adult children. As much as I would like to say that things always go smoothly, I wouldn’t be telling you the truth. Our children range in age by 18 years, and we have three adults and two teenagers. Each of them are unique and I try to be mindful of their individual needs. Nevertheless, there are some basic principles that apply to most parent and adult child relationships.
As our children grow into adults, we don’t stop being a parent, we are entering a new phase of parenting. Just as we had rules when they were children, these rules become boundaries. As our children become adults, we should start coming along beside them and encourage them, rather than just telling them what to do. One of the saddest things is to have an adult child push you away. There may be times that you are the first person they call in a crisis, yet other times they may want to rely on a friend instead. These boundaries with our adult children are difficult at first, but it does get easier and keeps the relationship strong. Following are some reminders to help in this time of transition.
